Archive for the 'Life Management' Category

Life Skills in Education

About one month ago I went to go present to a board of education as to how important life skills are to be taught in the classrooms. Although many students learn life skills at home, many students do not. The select few of the board that showed up at the meeting told me not to use the words “life skills,” as it relates to education because it has a negative connotation. As an educator, it is my opinion that avoiding life skills in the way we act in the classroom and in the way in the way that we teach is unavoidable. Students, whether in the classroom or outside of it, will encounter changes, decisions, LIFE. Yes, I know wholeheartedly that skills need to be taught. I have had too many college students come into the classroom without basic reading and writing skills. But we cannot just point fingers as to whose responsibility it is to teach what. It takes all of us – parents, educators, mentors, life coaches, guidance counselors, neighbors, etc. The list can go on and on. Instead of pointing fingers, jump in and lend a helping hand to anyone – including yourself. We are all lifetime students.

Published on Wednesday April 27, 2011 in College Success, Life Management, Life Purpose, Self-Discovery and Uncategorized. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , .

Making Tough Decisions

I once taught a student who was being evicted from her house, knew she was going to miss a lot of school, and still wanted to remained enrolled in the class. She ended up dropping out because she realized that it was too much to remain in school at the moment and that the overwhelming priority was to find a place to live for herself, her disabled mother, and her toddler. I also had another student whose infant daughter died in the beginning of the semester. He completed the semester through until the very last day.

As the famous saying goes, “life happens.” And when it does, sometimes we feel forced into a decision we do not want to make. But as individuals, we always have a choice, even if  the decision in front of you is a tough one. And when you listen to your inner self, you realize that you know the decision that is best for you.

One of the activities I do with my clients when they have a tough decision in front of them is to write out the pros and cons of each decision. I have a particular format in which I set up all of the choices in front of them. We go through a series of questions as we fill out the exercise. Not once, in my three years of coaching, has anyone been unsure about their decision once we’re done with the exercise.

The exercise is really not that complicated. All the client is doing is writing down the assets and liabilities of each decision. But what makes the activity so effective? When faced with a tough decision, many people panic and convince themselves that they don’t know what to choose. They don’t realize that if they choose something that doesn’t work for them, there is always an opportunity to make another decision that works better.

The questioning I do as a Collegiate Career Coach simply makes people conscious of their feelings towards the options they have in front of them, and the resulting impact of choosing each option. In panic mode, people are not able to think clearly and therefore make their choice out of fear.

Choices out of fear never work. Why? Fear-based decisions are based off of what you do not want to attract in your life. But making a decision from that mind frame will only bring what you do not desire into your life.

Choices made with a clear and centered mind always work, because you can see all of your options and evaluate the risks you are or are not willing to take in making a tough decision.

Published on Sunday September 26, 2010 in Broadcast, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Tackling The Negative Voices in Your Mind

Thousands of people wake up in the morning and dread getting out of bed. Automatically, the mind is filled with all the things that “have” to be done and dread of completing it all. This starts the day off with negative energy that continues throughout the day. We then get bent out of shape about every little annoyance we encounter throughout our day: the car that cuts us off, the rude person or people at work, teachers who may seem like they are trying to mound a ton of work onto your already busy schedule, etc.

These negative thoughts completely cancel out the thoughts of the good stuff that’s happening in our lives. So, when I’m faced with a challenge, I have learned to practice a gratefulness exercise.

Just recently, my laptop crashed and my hard drive was completely corrupted. As a writer, this was my worst nightmare. One of the things that made it even worse is that I always planned to back my information up, as all tech professionals suggest, but I just kept putting it off because I felt I was always too busy to just stop by the store and get it.

The day after I found out that I would have to pay $1,095 to get my data recovered and purchase a new laptop, which was another $1,000, I noticed my thoughts were only focusing how upset about the entire situation. As I was walking into school the next day, I acknowledged my thoughts and chose to turn them into something different. I started thinking of all the things I am grateful for in my life: my family, my friends, my recent move to Florida, my new job at Seminole State College, etc. All of a sudden I could feel my face brighten up and feel at ease. The positive energy transferred into my classroom. My students were upbeat and ready to learn.
If we are not conscious of our negative thoughts, we can easily fall into a bad mood. When we encounter other people with our bad mood, what’s the likelihood they will want to be nice to us or even be around us?

Sometimes the voices in our head are implanted by other people telling us what we can and cannot accomplish. But remember that you and only you can control the limits you set on your abilities. If someone else is telling you what you are not capable, that has nothing to do with you. It is only a reflection of the limits that person has in their own mind.

Always remember the principle that being happy does not come from having a perfect life and things always going our way. It’s focusing on what is going well in your our lives and building off of that. If we truly believe, accept and practice this principle, our challenges will be resolved with ease.

Published on Friday September 24, 2010 in Broadcast, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments

Time Management for Geniuses

There are twenty four hours in everyone’s day, but often it seems as if we can’t get everything we want to get completed in that time period. To really live a balanced life, which is what many of us strive for, we make time for work, make time to care for our bodies through eating and fitness, make time to rest, and make time to socialize with our family and friends. With all of those activities, it seems like twenty four hours is not enough time. But even if we had more time in a day we would still rush around doing the same habits. So time is not really what we need to focus our attention on. Our attention needs to be focused on the activities we do throughout the day.

As a professor, business owner, writer, daughter, sister, aunt and friend, I want to get everything done, sometimes all in one day. Yet, I have learned that when I overload my list of activities, I run myself down—physically and mentally. When I run myself down, I’m unable to perform my activities on the level to which I would prefer.

So each week I make myself a list of priorities, which I call, “My List of Dreams to Fulfill.” Knowing what my overall goals are, I list all the activities I would like to complete in order to fulfill them. I then rank the list in order of priorities. I almost never complete the entire list by the end of each week, but the most important activities that I’ve identified as important are always done. And the activities that I have ranked and not finished are either removed from my list due to its lack of importance or move up in rank for the following week. Allow yourself to be okay completing the top three. That’s an accomplishment wroth of celebration.

Another key to managing your activities is asking for help. You’ll be surprised at how your family and friends really want to be a part of helping you fulfill your dreams. And for my professional business activities, I hire others who specialize in activities they complete far quicker than I would, especially with my busy schedule.
Hiring someone to do your work in college is definitely not a wise idea because, in addition to cheating, you will never know the information yourself. However, seeking extra help from your professor or your school’s tutoring center will allow you to complete your work with more confidence and in a timely manner. If there is someone in your class who seems to understand the material that you may be struggling with, get their contact information and arrange a study session together.

People explain things in different ways. Hearing the information from someone else might give you some clarity and allow you to complete your work in a timely manner. The more you understand, the easier it will be for you to complete your work.

So go ahead and create your own personal “Dreams to Fulfill” list, and seek help from others around you.

Published on Monday September 20, 2010 in Broadcast, College Success, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

Turning Challenges Into Opportunities

Everyone, at some point in time, faces a challenge. Throughout our lives, we have learned to resist challenges because we’d prefer everything to go smoothly. But that’s just not reality.

When faced with a challenge, the first step is to accept the challenge and embrace it. It might sound crazy, because challenges are usually viewed as a source of causing some level of difficulty in our lives. Only after the challenge has been embraced can you deal with it on a higher sense of consciousness. Looking at the challenge or problem from a different perspective will reveal the multitude of choices you have in front of you. It’s all about how you react to the situation.

One of my favorite quotes by Albert Einstein is, “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.” This simply means looking at the challenge or problem in front of you with a new set of eyes, a set that is willing to look outside the box in order to come up with the solution that works best for you.

I may be a life coach, but I’m also human like everybody else. I like it when my life runs smoothly without problems. But I also realize that my life will only run as smoothly as my mind is willing to allow. If I can open my mind up to the opportunities that a challenge has to offer, I don’t need to get stressed out about the situation.

Recently, I made an appointment for a very important meeting to be held on a Thursday. The meeting meant a lot to me in a variety of ways. I was grateful to have it. In order to prepare for this meeting, I had asked a friend to send me 4 lbs. worth of documents from New Jersey to Florida.

She shipped it on a Monday, and we both anticipated and were told that I would receive it that Tuesday evening two days ahead of my meeting. I was charged for the price of the overnight delivery. I had no doubt in my mind that it was going to arrive Tuesday evening and planned on picking it up from the front desk of my building after my USTREAM.tv show I hold live every Tuesday night.

As I was writing this very exact article, I had so much to say about turning challenges into opportunities that I got a bit of writer’s block. My usual remedy for writers block is to scan the Internet for awhile, and then go back to what I’m writing. Often I’ll see something that will spark an idea or lead me to the next thing I want to express.

Believing that everything happens for a reason and there are no coincidences, I don’t think checking my personal email instead of scanning the Internet just happened by chance. I checked my email and realized that my friend had been sending emails all day and was in touch with UPS to rectify a challenge that occurred with the shipping of the package. Although I was charged full price for overnight shipping, the package was sent ground and was scheduled to arrive Thursday night. But my meeting was scheduled for Thursday morning.

Because of my fear about how not having the papers would negatively affect the meeting, I was about to express my frustration with the customer service representative at the company. But I thought consciously thought through the situation first, before reacting. I chose to consider the opportunities I could gain from the situation. It turned out I gained two opportunities.

First, I was able to negotiate a solution with the manager. As soon as I was transferred to her, she began to explain to me that there was nothing she could do and told me to deal with the store from where the package was shipped. She said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not the one who made the mistake.”

Speaking with her on a higher energy level, I acknowledged that she definitely was not at fault, but assured her that as a manager working out of the national office of her company, she was more than capable to help me resolve the situation. Positive communication in a challenging situation is always an opportunity to encourage myself and others who may be involved.

It did. Immediately, the confidence level in her voice perked up and her desire to help was apparent in her voice. And that’s exactly what she did. She took five minutes to think outside of the box, and resolved the situation almost immediately.

Another opportunity I gained from the situation was that I no longer had writer’s block. I believe in the theory of whatever intention you put out into the Universe is what you are going to receive back. I was looking for something to write with a good example of a recent challenge, and I was presented with one.

With any challenge my clients face, I have them write down the challenge so that they can embrace and understand it better. Then I have them write out any opportunities they can see from the situation. Depending on the circumstance, some challenges may be easier to see opportunities from than others. As a result, I am there to ask them questions to reveal the different opportunities they are willing to view from their perspective.

Published on Tuesday September 14, 2010 in Broadcast, Energy Coaching and Life Management. 0 Comments Tags: , .