Archive for the 'Life Management' Category

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Dealing With Challenging Personalities

For some people, it’s important to be right and prove themselves to everyone else. For others, being peaceful and avoiding confrontation matters even more. And for some people, they fit into either category, depending on the matter being discussed.

You must decide for yourself which category feels most appropriate for you. Even if someone else wants to challenge you in a confrontation, take the time to recognize that the confrontation can only take place if you involve yourself in it too. It’s easier to choose peace if you look at the challenging person and your situation with the person you have identified as challenging as an opportunity to learn something about yourself.

Whether the “challenging person” is someone you choose to surround yourself with or someone who just happens to be in your class at school or in your workplace, you technically have a relationship with him or her. Remember that relationships teach you more about yourself. The characteristics you love about someone else are characteristics you possess within yourself. The “funny” thing is that the thing that irks you about that “challenging person,” is a characteristic you possess, too.

A longtime childhood friend of mine finds every opportunity to be right and finding peace is not as much of a value for her than it is for me. The one thing that used to irk me the most about her was that she always tried to tell everyone what to do with their life. As a life coach, that’s completely against the grain of what I believe. I believe everyone has their own answers inside of themselves. After seriously looking at myself and my personality, I realized this bothered me so much because I also sometimes thought I knew—and expressed—what the best answer was for people, especially when it came to family and friends. I turned this realization into an opportunity to change that unappealing characteristic. If I despised that quality in others, I surely didn’t want it anymore for myself.

Through meditation and affirmations to change my way of thinking, I learned to love people for who they are no matter what decision they made. I learned that I am responsible for me, and each person on this earth is responsible for themselves. This lesson improved my life coaching skills, and also my time spent with family and friends. It was obvious my family and friends felt more comfortable around me, because of my change of attitude. The most interesting part, to me, was that I no longer judged my childhood friend. I didn’t even notice that characteristic within her anymore.

We all know or have met someone in our lives that we have found it difficult to get along with. Take it as an opportunity to learn something more about yourself, look for where that characteristic shows up in your life, and use it to make yourself who you really want to be.

Published on Sunday September 12, 2010 in Broadcast, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments Tags: , , .

It’s All About the Stupid People

Blaming other people for what we feel is lacking in our life is the easy way out. It’s also a lie we tell ourselves. It’s much harder for someone to take responsibility for their own actions, but change cannot occur in ourselves if we always blame other people for our own choices at work in our lives.

Everyone is responsible for themselves and the choices they make in life. It’s never anyone else’s fault that a decision did not work out. Taking responsibility for a decision does not mean that if the decision does not work out that we blame ourselves. We simply just need to learn from it, and make a decision that works out better.

One semester I taught a student who constantly came to class 15 to 20 minutes late, if he showed up at all. Even when he did attend class, he never did the assignments. He always had an excuse as to why the assignment was not completed. I held one-on-one conferences with him every other week to let him know that his behavior was causing him to fail the class. Yet, he continued his behavior until I told him that his failing average was so low there was no possible way he would be able to pass the class.

Guess who’s fault it was? According to him, it was my fault. He said he didn’t know he was doing that bad and wanted me to give him the opportunity for extra tutoring and rewriting papers. These were both suggestions I had offered him earlier in the semester. But after ignoring my suggestions for months, a failing average was the end result at the end of the semester. The student wound up threatening me physically. Security ended up escorting me around campus the rest of the semester.

Unfortunately, this student did not learn anything from his classroom actions. He would not take responsibility and admit that his failing average had anything to do with himself. As a result, he is more likely to continue his behavior in another classroom or work.

Of course, as his professor, I was not happy about the situation. Not only was it a scary situation for me personally, but I also want to see all of my students be successful. I know that’s a very ambitious ideal on my part, yet I still believe in the possibility of it.

I do believe there is a chance my former student may learn from this situation later in the future. If he does, he may learn one of the biggest lessons in life.

A few semesters ago, I had a student in my class who said she couldn’t concentrate because the girl next to her in the computer lab was disruptive. Instead of paying attention, she said the girl spent much of her time trying to sneak to check her email and her Facebook. The young lady who approached me about the situation said this was the reason she only had a low C in the class. She said she normally performs much better in writing classes.

I constantly scan the computer lab for students trying to do outside activities on the computer, though there are some that get by my radar before I catch it. I told the complaining student I would pay careful attention to the young lady she was sitting next to, but that there was something she could do herself that could prevent her from being disrupted. She realized I was hinting that she could move her chair.

The thought of moving her chair frightened her because she didn’t want the other student to be mad at her. I asked her on a scale from one to ten— one being the lowest and ten being the highest—which one choice was more important to her, moving her chair and being able to concentrate or sitting next to someone disruptive who might get mad if she moved. I could tell she was nervous at the start of the next class, but she did move up to the front row. Later, I asked her if the other young lady ever said anything to her, and she did not.

It is never anyone else’s fault that you find yourself in a less than winning situation. It’s our own choices or decisions that place us in a position we don’t want to be in. We can always take responsibility and make another choice. Instead of wasting your time pointing your finger at other people, know that you are the only one who has control over you and what you choose to do in life.

Published on Friday September 10, 2010 in Broadcast, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Take the Time You Deserve Before the School Year Begins

Since the last month of summer vacation is rolling quickly around the corner, take advantage of the time and relax. For some of us, school starts in less than a month. For others, there’s only a little time over a month before we’re back to the busyness and focused attention that a school year brings.

Here are a few things you can do before the school year appears:

1. Take a mini vacation. Whether you go near or far, now is the time to get away before you don’t have time to do so. There are some advance ticket and last minute ticket deals out there, so do your research online and take advantage of the fabulous discounts.

2. Catch some extra z’s. Allow your body to get some rest. The school year sometimes bring around a schedule, which causes you to pull some all nighters. Resting up now will give your body the reserve fuel you might need in a month or so. Even though your body needs the rest, make sure you don’t overdue it. Going to bed at 4 a.m. and sleeping in until 1 p.m. will make it more difficult to adjust your sleep schedule around, especially if you have morning classes. 

3. If you’re not familiar with your school, stop by the campus or building now to find your classes. Not knowing where you are going on the first day only adds anxiety to your first day of meeting new instructors and classmates.

4. Find something you are interested in reading. If you’ve been hanging out all summer, your brain might have gotten used to limited activity. Get it up in gear with starting to read more often. Pick up a last minute summer book, pick up the newspaper, or pick out your favorite magazine.

5. Spend some extra time with friends and family. During the school year, it sometimes becomes a challenge to balance school, work, and your social life. Fit your loved ones in now while you have the time. They’ll be sure to understand when life get busy soon. 



Published on Friday July 30, 2010 in Broadcast, College Success and Life Management. 0 Comments

Did You See Turning Around Negative Self Talk on Dream Purposeful Phenomenon Tuesday Night? Catch the Recorded Version Now!

Research shows that a person has anywhere up to 60,000 thoughts per day. The thing about these thoughts of ours is that most of them are the same 60,000 thoughts from day to day. The question is: what are you thinking about?

In our current society, most people’s thoughts are centered around worry, fear, and stress over a variety of topics. We worry about work. We worry about school. We worry about family and other close relationships. And the list could go on. A lot of that worry and fear stems from how we feel about ourselves.

Learn the five steps to building positive affirmations for yourself and your life. Watch the recorded version at http://www.ustream.tv/channel/create-the-career-of-your-dreams-phenomenon.

Published on Wednesday July 28, 2010 in Broadcast, Dream Purposeful Phenomenon, Life Management and Self-Discovery. 0 Comments Tags: , , , , , , , .

Missed the Discussion on Making Tough Decisions and Turning Challenges Into Opportunities? Catch the Recorded Version Now!

On Tuesday, July 20th, The Dream Purposeful Phenomenon gave tips and examples of how to effectively make tough decisions and how to turn challenges around into opportunities. Missed the show? No problem. Catch the recorded version right here.

Published on Wednesday July 21, 2010 in Broadcast, Dream Purposeful Phenomenon and Life Management. 0 Comments Tags: , , , .