Tag Archive for 'turning negative thoughts to postiive'

Free Workshop Starts This Monday

Free Workshop Based on The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

 

Mondays, September 9th, 16th, 23rd, and 30th

Time: 1:30 to 3 p.m.

Location: The Recovery Center

108 Somerdale Road

Voorhees, NJ 08043

 

By Completion of this Workshop, You Will Feel Empowered to Let Go of Self-Limiting Beliefs Through:

 

v   Becoming Impeccable With Your Word

v  Letting Go of Taking Things Personally

v  Ridding Yourself of Making Assumptions

v  Always Practicing to Do Your Best

 

Contact: Mignon Brooks (609) 932-0483 or mignonbrooks@collegiatecareercoach.com

 

Please come equipped with your own book. The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz can be found at your local bookstore. Workbooks will be provided for you.

Judgement

In the second week of this teleclass I’m doing with Jana Fleming, we’re practicing non-judgement. It is a practice that allows us to not judge anything that occurs. Since we were children, we were always taught to judge that something was good or bad based on beliefs we were taught from out family, friends, society, etc. Believe me, it’s easier said than done.

In the nine years I worked as a professor, I’ve observed judgement all of the time. Students would judge themselves as stupid if they got even a B on their assignment. Being as though I was teaching basic skills courses, students were very judgemental about how they did not needed the course.

For others not to judge us, we grow up trying to fit into certain circles of friends. This creates us to loose who we really are and who we really want to be. We judge other people to fit the roles we expect them to play.

Today I encourage you to be the observer in your classrooms and when you are hanging around your social circles. What are you saying about yourself? What are you saying about other people? The more you judge yourself, the more you judge others.

If you catch yourself judging, don’t judge yourself for that. Just be mindful that today you are setting an intention to not judge anything that occurs throughout your day. The more you practice this you’ll be less judgemental of your teachers. You’ll be able to communicate with your teachers and your social circles much better. Because you have made the decision that right and wrong don’t exists. All that exists is the story being played out in front of you.

Take the non-judgement challenge today!

Turning Around Negative Self Talk

Research shows that a person experiences as many as 60,000 thoughts per day. The thing about these thoughts of ours is that most of them are the same 60,000 thoughts from day to day. The question is: what are you thinking about?

In our current society, most people’s thoughts are centered around worry, fear, and stress over a variety of topics. We worry about work. We worry about school. We worry about family and other close relationships. And the list could go on. A lot of that worry and fear stems from how we feel about ourselves.

It comes from our own perspective of life and how we’ve been trained to think. This training came from our environments growing up. They include our parents, teachers, friends, group affiliations, etc. Our thoughts result from what we’ve been taught for many years as children, and they continue into our adulthood life. That’s fine for the thoughts that support what we want in our lives. But when our usual thinking no longer works for our lives, we need to let go of the of thoughts and adopt new ones that serve us better.

Let’s use an example Don Miguel Ruiz wrote in his book, “The Four Agreements.” If someone told you when you were younger that you were stupid and you accepted what they told you, you might continue thinking that you were stupid for the rest of your life. That is until you make the choice to break that agreement and think something different about yourself.

Examples of this abound. People make agreements that they are fat, that they are ugly, that they do not deserve to be loved, or that they are not good at doing something. In my case, I always agreed that I was bad at math, until my Seton Hall statistics professor asked me if I was planning to be a math major because I performed so well in his class!

Now this is important to take note of for two reasons: (1) When it comes to dealing with other people, it’s important recognize that everyone does not think the same way you do. In this world, believe it or not, people weren’t raised to think the same way you think. So, don’t let someone else’s perspective, or even actions, personally offend you because it has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with their personal thoughts of themselves and the agreements they‘ve decided to make about themselves. (2) On a personal level, we have the power to change our thoughts. We do not have to hold onto thoughts that no longer work in our lives.

When we think and talk bad things about ourselves, we hold ourselves back from the vast opportunities in front of us. We disqualify ourselves from success before we ever get started.

How Do We Change These Thoughts?

  • Choose one negative thought that you have about yourself. For example, I was working with a client a few months ago who wanted to be a nurse but never pursed it because she thought that the education process to achieve that goal was going to be too hard and would take too long.
  • Write your negative thoughts down on a piece of paper. Take a look at it. In some coaching sessions I’ve had with clients, just looking at the negative statement makes them realize how far from the truth the negative thought really is. But for some of people who have agreed to their negative thoughts for years, a quick fix is not that easy.
  • As you are looking at this thought, reflect on it in present time. Don’t think about where it originated from and use your reason as an excuse to keep it. The past is in the past. How is this thought serving you now? If you find that it’s not serving your life positively, then it’s time to change the words you wrote down.
  • Changing the words is the next step. This is creating an affirmation for yourself. Using the example I used about the student who didn’t go to nursing school because she didn’t think she’d be capable for success, and she didn’t think she’d be able to sustain the amount of time it took her to get her degree. Through our work together she realized that her thoughts about the amount of time it would take was actually a limiting belief, which was not even accurate. She thought she’d be in school for six to eight years. She didn’t realize it could be accomplished in four years, like other bachelor degree programs.
  • Covert your negative thought into a positive affirmation. The important part of this affirmation is to use a see, hear, feel model, focusing on those particular sense to make the affirmation as real as possible. So this particular client’s affirmation turned into, “In four years, I see myself walking down the aisle at graduation, getting my nursing degree. I hear my family yelling my name to cheer me on as I walk up to the podium to receive my degree. I feel the excitement throughout my body as the degree is placed in my hands.” Decide how many times you are going to repeat your affirmation per day. The more you say it to yourself, the more you believe it. As a result, the more likely you are to take the steps to accomplish your goal and feel confident in doing so.

Follow these simple five steps to turn negative thoughts about yourself into positive ones that will help pull you forward.